Aphrodite's Treatise
by Sympathy for the Snape
Summary: Neville sees something he shouldn't after a night of detention with Snape...ADMM, implied HGSS. AU as of HBP. One shot.


Disclaimer: This belongs to JKR, not me. If it did, I wouldn't be so poor.

A/N: Well, some elements of HBP may be taken into account, but certainly not Albus dying. Oh, I'm fairly sure he is truly dead but…well, what's the point of a AD/MM fic without him?

Aphrodite's Treatise

Neville Longbottom had a terrible memory.

He knew this, of course, and had lost so many Remembralls trying to improve his memory, he thought he had probably made it worse. He looked at Snape, sitting at his desk, his lank hair flopped around his face as he marked essays, viciously slashing across one with vigor. Neville frowned and jumped when the knife cut his thumb. He frowned and pressed his lips to the cut.

Startled at the odd taste of his blood, he nearly fell out of his chair. After several minutes, he continued to disembowel the frogs. After three more, he looked at the clock. It was almost ten. He disemboweled one of the last frogs and jolted straight up when someone knocked on the door.

"Sit back down, Longbottom," Snape said. "Your detention isn't over yet. Enter." The dungeon door creaked open and Hermione Granger stuck her head into the room.

"Professor Snape, Professor Dumbledore asked me to tell you something-"

"Don't just stand there, He-Miss Granger. Repeat what the headmaster said."

"He told me to tell you that you shouldn't bother to patrol around the fourth floor corridor, it's acting up again."

"I will take note of this, Herm--Longbottom! What are you still doing here?" Neville's eyes widened, had Snape almost called Hermione by her real name…twice?

He threw the last disemboweled frog into the barrel and grabbed his bag. He ran out of the room as fast as he could, feeling slightly squeamish at Snape's slip up and that Hermione had not followed him, her message had been relayed, why should she stay?

Contemplating this, he didn't notice when he bumped into a force field of some sort and fell onto his back. He pulled his wand out of his pocket and mumbled, "_Lumos_," to inspect it better. This was the only way he knew back to Gryffindor tower. This force field might be a problem.

He wondered if the castle was truly sentient, and if he could please ask it to move the force field. It had taken a liking to him lately. Once, on the verge of being late to Potions, it had opened a secret passage not on the Marauder's map. Another time, it overrode the Fat Lady to let him into Gryffindor tower when he forgot the password (he still hadn't found out what a 'lobotomy' was) and even today, the invisible step had let him pull his foot out with little hassle.

"P-please, would y-y-you let me past, Castle, I need to get back to Gryffindor," he asked and felt more foolish now than he had felt nauseous when he began to suspect Hermione and Snape.

The force field didn't budge. Neville scratched his head and sighed. He jumped when there was a soft grinding noise. He inspected the force field and almost fell over again. The castle _was_ trying to move the force field, but it couldn't. So, it had to be purposely placed there. By a wizard or witch. Who might not be friendly.

Neville turned and thought he saw Snape go into a door at the end of the corridor. Panicking, Death Eaters wouldn't just invade the fourth floor corridor and anyone was better than Snape in a foul mood, he pointed his wand at the force field and mumbled the first hex to come to mind.

A Stunning Spell didn't seem like such a good idea but he sighed in relief when a hole just big enough for him to get through appeared. He squirmed through and the force field closed back up as soon as he fell out. He saw Snape come out of the door, scowling heavily.

"Longbottom, come here-" Neville wasn't a good potions student but he wasn't Crabbe or Goyle, he had no intention of going to Snape.

Neville turned to walk down the new corridor and felt dizziness rush over him. He placed a hand on his head and took a few steps, completely steady. Confused, he turned and saw Snape clamoring through a hole. After today's fiasco in the Great Hall, Neville didn't want to face Snape and lose all those House Points again.

Anyway, how was he supposed to know the chocolates Dean had given him were from Fred and George? Neville had only wanted the chocolate to try and see if Snape would be less hateful if Neville tried to apologize for whatever reason Snape hated him.

Oh, well, survival was foremost on his mind right now.

Neville checked to see where Snape was, coming right towards him and he saw Snape sprout wings.

Wait, _wings? _

There was something going on that Neville had no intention of studying further. Snape had wings…and the tail of a Hungarian Horntail? Neville blinked, felt dizzy, and Snape, still walking briskly towards him as he stood there, Snape now had Gran's dress and hat, with wings and a dragon's tail.

Neville hoped the castle still liked him as he quickly turned and locked himself into an unused classroom.

"Longbottom, I just want to talk!"

"No, no. You've got a tail and wings-" Neville felt very dizzy-"and why d'you have my Gran's clothes?"

Snape paused. Then slowly," Longbottom, have you lost your already diminished mind?"

"You're the one walking around in lady's clothes." Neville sat in a chair. He jerked his head up and looked at the door leading to an office. What was that sound?

He carefully made his way to the office and listened. Some students must have gotten into the office. He opened the door, to warn them Snape was outside, and froze when Albus Dumbledore fell off the teacher's desk. He blushed, Neville had never seen him blush, and he saw-

Oh God, he'd need a Muggle therapist after this.

"Mr. Longbottom, why are you not in Gryffindor tower?" Minerva McGonagall asked, straightening her robes with a slight blush.

Neville abruptly felt his dizziness fade.

"Detention with Snape," he said. Just as he felt Snape's long fingers clutch his shoulder, he thought that there would be a bruise tomorrow and fainted.

"Really, Albus, cavorting with students on the loose!"

Dumbledore sounded slightly humbled, "never would I have thought the castle would take a liking to any students and let them past my charms, Poppy."

"Well, I suppose that is true-"

"Should we tell him all of it was a hallucination?" Snape asked. Neville had never heard him sound so un-Snape-ish and nervous.

"That would be best, he did think he saw you with-what was it?"

"If you ever tell anyone, I swear I'll hex you. It was wings and a tail, and-and his grandmother's clothing."

"No wonder he was running for his life," Neville heard McGonagall say tartly.

"Calm down, you two. Mr. Longbottom is waking up, I believe," Dumbledore said.

"Yeah, I am," Neville said. He sat up and saw Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore staring anxiously at him.

"Are you feeling better, Mr. Longbottom?" Dumbledore asked.

"A lot better, Headmaster."

"Good, good. Do you feel up to discussing last night's events?"

"If the alternative is to pretend they never happened, no, but you'll probably want to know all of it at some point, don't you?" Neville asked.

"Correct, Mr. Longbottom."

"Well, then, I'd rather get it all out of my mind now." _Then maybe an Obliviate_, Neville thought with a shudder worthy of Potions class.

"Start at the beginning, then."

"I got detention from Professor Snape for the uh-the incident earlier and served it tonight at seven but I didn't get done until past ten. I left after He-" Neville saw Snape grow tenser and shake his head slightly left to right. So Dumbledore and McGonagall couldn't know about Hermione and Snape's…special friendship. Well, Neville had no intention of snitching on Hermione, and the reason Snape was somewhat more… tolerable. "Well, Professor Snape let me go and I tried to get back through-"

"Mr. Longbottom did you not cut your thumb and press your lips to it?"

"I did, sir, but I didn't think it mattered. I was only disemboweling frogs-"

"A potion from fifth year went wrong on that desk, Mr. Longbottom, and created a mild form of the Delirious Drink. You inadvertently ingest some of it."

"Oh, well, that explains why I saw Professor Snape with wings and a dragon's tail with my gran's dress and hat, doesn't it, Professor Dumbledore?"

"And why you thought you saw Professor McGonagall and myself in a- compromising position."

"Oh, but why were you two-" he saw Dumbledore give the same shake of his head Snape had. It was Order of the Phoenix business, then.

"Well, Mr. Longbottom, since we have this cleared up, you may go to breakfast. It's just started. Madam Pomfrey said it was only a mild concussion, she took care of it. Your friend Dean Thomas brought you some clothes and your school bag; it seemed as if he were eager to make up for something. Your clothes are over on that chair.

"Thank you, Professor Dumbledore." Neville climbed slowly out of bed and went to change. He emerged from behind the curtain, waved to the headmaster and his Head of House and left the hospital wing.

"I need to go prepare for class," Snape said shortly. He stood and left.

"Really, Albus, we need to be more careful!"

Albus smiled and turned to Minerva McGonagall. "We should, shouldn't we?" He cast a Silencing Charm. "Now, Professor McGonagall, would you care to continue our-discussion from last night?"

Minerva smiled. "By all means, Albus, we really should-" she flicked her wand and let the curtains slid together-" and we could perhaps catch some students with their Skiving Snackboxes."

"Excellent plan, Minerva, and we should discuss the finer points of Aphrodite's treatise-"

"I didn't know she had a treatise-"

"She doesn't, but really, who's going to look when we tell them that's where we got off to this morning?"

A/N: Let me know what you think, if you're up to it. Reviews are nice but not a necessity. I'd like to extend a thank you to Anne (also known as Foci) because she read it for me before I posted and it's nice to get an opinion. I suggest her story 'Foretold Love' as well, original AD/MM and a refreshing read.


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